DECEMBER 29th: THE RE-WRITE
The Headline Fact (Princess Carolyn)
"December 29th is statistically a 'Slow News Day'."
HITH: "But it's the biggest
headline of my life.
'BREAKING NEWS: The most amazing person was born today.'
Everything else is just filler."
The Music Fact (Mr. Peanutbutter)
"In 1876, Pablo Casals, the legendary cellist, was born."
HITH: "They say he could
make a cello sing. But you? You make my whole life feel like a symphony. And I can't even play
an instrument."
The 'Tick Tock' Fact (Diane)
"Today is officially 'Tick Tock Day', a day to finish unfinished business."
HITH: "But I don't need to
finish anything. I found you. My year, my story, my search for meaning—it's all complete now.
And maybe finish you in the end."
The Star Fact (BoJack)
"In 1845, Texas became the 28th state."
HITH: "They say everything's
bigger in Texas. But nothing's bigger than what you mean to me. Corny? Sure. True? Absolutely."
The Journey Fact (Princess Carolyn)
"In 1911, Sun Yat-sen became the first President of the Republic of China."
HITH: "He started a
revolution. You started a revolution in my daily routine. Now my mornings include thinking about
you. Revolutionary, like 4Ps pizza."
The Discovery Fact (Diane)
"In 1876, the Ashtabula River railroad disaster killed 92 people."
HITH: "Okay, that one's
dark. But on the bright side: you were born. Net positive for humanity, if you ask me."
The Time Fact (Mr. Peanutbutter)
"William Gladstone became British PM for the fourth time in 1892."
HITH: "Fourth time's the
charm? Nah. First time meeting you was enough. One shot, infinite returns."